ABOUT ME

Hi! I'm Nicole, a mother of 3, caretaker to my special needs sister, and wife of a Navy Man. My happy place is on the trail somewhere in the mountains, lost in a podcast.

But why do I want to talk with you about your sex life?

I grew up in the height of purity culture. I read the books, I went to the conferences, I even had the ring. 

While my love and faith in Christ has grown and deepened over the years, my awareness of what purity culture did to a lot of us has also grown. 

"Premarital sex can only lead to pregnancy and disease."

"If you have sex before marriage, you are damaged goods.”

"Your virginity is the greatest gift you can give your future husband.”

“If your husband is typical, he will have a need that you just don’t have.”

Now hear me out, I still believe that God intended sex for marriage. What I don't agree with is that sex is inherently more for men, or this pedestal that we have collectively erected and put virginity on.

Aren't we redeemed by grace? Don't we continually make mistakes that realistically SHOULD make us unworthy of Christ's love, but he just keeps wiping the slate clean?

Whether your story is colorful, painful, or both, I believe that we all are capable of having an incredible, intimate, fun, sex life with our spouse. Sometimes we just need a little help to get there. 

But back to me…

2006. I was 18 years old when I married my husband, who was just a month shy of 20. We had no clue what we were doing. Despite our parents and our churches best efforts, we still came into our marriage with a little bit of sexual baggage, and a whole lot of shame. 

Fast forward 15 years. Our marriage was good, it was strong, but boy did we put a lot of work into it. I found myself having more and more deep conversations with other women who were really struggling with their sex lives. They told me their marriages were solid. They kept waiting for the sex to "fall into place". The trust and communication were there for so many other facets of their marriages. Why was this one area different?

After hours and hours of conversations with these women, it finally dawned on me. So many of us are taught how to nurture MOST of our marriage, but we really aren't equipped with the tools and the language to work on our sex lives.

I'm set on changing that. Let's fill our toolboxes. Let's talk about our strengths and our struggles in a judgment free zone. 

I'm now a certified Sex Coach, Mind and Body Somatics Coach, and Trauma Coach. My goal is to help you reach your goals, and to walk alongside you during that journey. 

Your background might be completely different from mine, and that is A-Okay. Whatever your story is, I want to hear it. Let's grow and thrive together.